Sunday, September 22, 2013

On Conservative Idiots

Some incredibly dumb stupidface made Sharon administrator of an idiotic conservative Facebook page. Sharon has been spreading the word to fans through hidden message posts. Now taking suggestions.

Until next time, Amen™

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Ask Aunt Sharon 2.0

To have your question featured in the next installment of Ask Aunt Sharon, contact Sharon via Facebook or Email. All questions will remain anonymous so the world won't know what a godless slut you really are. Amen™

Q- Aunt Sharon, I was going to make some buffalo chicken dip for a party this weekend, do you have any suggestions of things to go with it?

A- Yes, yes. I know of the dip of which you speak. It is vile, putrid stuff. It could not be more sin laden if it was satan himself's vomit. You must not make this dip lest you perish. If you insist on defying the advice of Sharon, some toast rounds and crudities pair nicely. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Edit: This ungodly reader DID NOT follow the Godly advice of Sharon Bailgoat and bestowed the following dip upon the world. Thank you reader for sending a photo of your sinful dip. 

Until next time, Amen™

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

On Creepers

A random creeper PMs Sharon.

And let that be a lesson to all ungodly internet creeps. Get back to your work of posing for police "person of interest" sketches and get off an old lady's facebook. AMEN™

Sunday, August 18, 2013

On Beggin' Strips

This quick cooking bacon (Beggin Strips) provided a disgusting and disastrous luncheon.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Shrader the Butthole

He just blathers on and on about his field trip to Africa. 

Shady boot camps sound like just the place for young children and infants! 

I wont rest until he answers about the holy accordion!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Ask Aunt Sharon 1.0

Hello and welcome to the first ever installment of Ask Aunt Sharon™I will be taking your questions on life, love, snack food and everything in between. Contact Sharon via Facebook or Email. All questions will remain anonymous so the world won't know what a godless slut you really are. Amen™

Q- Sister Sharon,  I am experiencing pain during intercourse due to a mesh sling erosion. HELP.

A- My dear, Thank you for your question, you have come to the right place. Pain during intercourse is normal. This "mesh sling erosion" of which you speak is God's way of punishing your sinning vagina. On the 8th day, when The Lord created the vagina, he created the mesh sin sling, designed to erode when a woman is a sinning fornicator (such as yourself.) And lo it was good. 

It is very important that you heed my advice: Marry this gentleman at once. Once you are legally married in the eyes of The Lord, this problem will resolve itself. Except the pain during intercourse part. That's normal. Amen™

Until next time, Amen™

On Cheese Wallets

In Soviet Russia, Cheese trolls you. Well played Velveeta, well played. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

On White Devils

Has Sharon mentioned that Shrader is the Supreme Butthole of the Universe™?? His long winded posts were left collapsed for brevity and sanity. It's basically blah blah blah I am bringing Jesus to the heathens. Also, I told them that their deceased loved ones are in hell because they believed the wrong form of Christianity. Luckily Shrader is here to save the day. And the souls. What a douche.

Head. so. far. up. own. ass. Also, what happened to the holy accordion?!?!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

On Wasp Soup

Sharon doesn't care for the soup recipe that was posted on a family tips Facebook page.

If you were on Sharon's Facebook fan page you would have already seen this. Just sayin. Amen™

Saturday, July 13, 2013

On Orphans

                                                 One ridiculous turn deserves another. 


Thursday, July 11, 2013

Your mom likes Sharon!

Sharon Bailgoat is on the Facebooks. Like her page to get all the latest updates in outragery. 

On Shrader the Supreme Butthole of the Universe

John Shrader is the Supreme Butthole of the Universe™. He is lazy and sanctimonius and has grand dreams of conning people from their hard earned money to support his African missions. So far he has bought a plane, xerox machines (from a man pledging to work OT for a year) and apparently an accordion. All these things will be used to preach at the Zambian people. This, according to Shrader, Supreme Butthole of the Universe™, is preferable to actually helping them with food, water, education... But what's infrastructure when you have a holy accordion? 

Sharon has a few things to say to Shrader, Supreme Butthole of the Universe™.

This is not the end of Sharon and Shrader, Supreme Butthole of the Universe™

Saturday, July 6, 2013

On Water Abortion

Facebook is full of "pro-life" pages that love to shame women with lies and faulty justifications. Sharon is similarly outraged.



Thursday, July 4, 2013

On Jelly Fires

Sharon has a bone to pick with those lying liars at Sure Jell.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

On Buffet Fountains

Sharon has a bone to pick with Golden Corral buffet and their chocolate fountain. 

Monday, May 13, 2013

Chex "Mix"

Sharon IAmWhatISayIAmUnlikeYouMrMix Bailgoat has a bone to pick with the mix. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Hair Cuttery

Sharon has a run in at the Hair Cuttery. 

Hair Cuttery is mildly concerned.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

On Forever XXII

Sharon has serious questions about the age verification practices of a popular clothing retailer.

Edited to add: Forever 21 responds

Friday, April 19, 2013